And I'm back...

Its 8:00 in the morning on Sunday (Happy Father's Day Dad!), and I'm already back at work. I came home yesterday around 1:30.

I had a conversation with my sister Sarah yesterday about my experience while at the airport. I had questions for her because the times when we traveled to Bangladesh, she was my age and I asked her how she felt coming back. She told me about materialism, she learned something new about herself every time she came back, and told me to try not to fall back into the society we live in. She said it's really hard. And she knows she has done it and still does it. She says that the little things really don't matter to her anymore. (Sarah I'm sorry if you're reading this... ha.) It hit me. I hadn't really started crying until then, after I got off the phone with her, right before we boarded onto the plane in JFK. Like you all already know, I'm scared. Do I really have to have a reminder every once in a while to help me realize that I am a lucky person for the opportunities I am able receive? I really hope this just stays constant.

It's hard from hanging and living with 17 people, to by myself. It's like a part of myself was already gone. These 17 people created so many memories and joys in my life, that it is going to be weird to not see them every day. I thank Kimmy and Robbie for being around yesterday, otherwise I would have had a hard time by myself.

So back to reality where things haven't changed. From the outside I may not have changed. But there are and will be experiences that I just won't come out and tell you that has helped change me. There will be things that I don't want to do, and you will want an explanation, and I'm not going to give you one. Its because of what has happened in South Africa to me. It's all about implementing everything I've learned there, into this society here. That will be the hardest part.

It's not going to happen within a snap in a second. But it needs to happen soon enough that I won't forget. But I think just looking at the 17 other people I shared this experience with, it will help me remember. I had an immediate connection in some shape or form with every single one of them.

I've shared some stories with a few people in particular already, and I thank them for listening to me. I hope it makes you try to go and experience something I did, because I am beginning to think if people have the slightest opportunity to do so, they should. I've learned a lot more about myself than I expected. It's the quote again I was raised with, "It's not what you do, what you eat, or what you wear, it's who you really are." Thanks Dad. I have come to realize I am thankful for the culture that I was raised with and how my parents chose to do it. I hope I can do the same for my future family, because it helped me a lot on this experience.

I may keep writing in here from time to time. To talk about things I experience here. Because let me tell you, seeing this big new copier/printer (two of them) at work this morning at 5:45 kind of threw me off edge a little. I didn't think the purchase was necessary. Riham saw me annoyed, but I left my thoughts inside of me.

"If you want to do it, you'll make time for it."

So yesterday and today's discussion was heavy. It left me emotional, confused, and worried. Today was was about an exercise relating to family, occupation, and community (or public) life? What truly matters to me? Yesterday was passion and capabilities regarding different terms of leadership. Here's what was discussed and questions that I have for myself.

I'm terrified to become a big kid.

Why is it that I'm scared?

Why is that I do not know what my passion is?

Why is it that I can go out and be vulnerable somewhere else and not at home?

Am I too scared to commit?

Is your passion really about you? Is it your purpose?

There should really be no ambiguity in what I want to do. Why was I happier here? Is it because I live simply here?

I think I'm scared because everything is being thrown at me all at once. I'm not ready to change and I do not adapt to change very well. Since everything is being thrown at me all at once I can't figure out what my passion is. Maybe I am trying to be vulnerable is because I was told to be vulnerable. Your passion really isn't about you, it could be your purpose, it is really what you all want it to be.

I was asked the question before I left, "Maryam, do you love yourself?" I said, "sometimes". Then it hit me a couple of hours later, in order to love someone, I need to love myself. I need to work on being happy with myself. I am more happy with myself than I have been in a long time here. In order to work with others I must know and understand myself. Too bad its taking me 20+ years to figure that out. But will I ever understand myself? Thats a good question "Maryam".

It was a realization. It hurt. It felt good. I'll spend time on my college career, I'll do things because I want to. And I'm scared to come back to the states. This is my last blog entry before I come home. I don't want to forget what I have learned here. I don't want to forget my experiences. I don't want to forget and lost touch with the wonderful people I have been traveling with. I don't want to explain my experiences jaded and I don't want you to explain them to others jaded. There was two experiences, I was tourist and I was a learner in the townships. Don't expect to ask me, "How was South Africa?" and get a complete answer. It'll be too hard to explain all of what I'm feeling. Ask specific questions. But it will be hard for me to talk about.

My only problem is, how do I implement what I learned here into my lifestyle back home? I ask of you that are reading this, if I need to sit and think, just sit there with me. Just roll with me here. I'm lost. And once reading this, it sounds like I am lost.

Here goes nothing, I'm heading back into reality, and I'm not ready to face it yet. So much for being happy for a while. :)

Why should I have to justify?

So it has been a while since I posted, I am sorry. Which is interesting because I have had more time on my hands than I usually do. We are back in Mowbray (our residence, we are in a suburb of Cape Town), and its been back at UCT working with Aaron on why we are here. We are trying to apply leadership to all of the experiences we have had so far. Those are the mornings, with lots of shopping (yikes) and getting last minute things/souveneirs before we leave.

A lot of us were thinking of taking up the opportunity to stay, but 1. I am out of money, 2. I need to go back to reality at some point, and 3. It ended up being much more money than I had thought because NWA is a pain.

So what have we been doing at night? Some went to Counting Crows on Tuesday, and I chose to stay in and hang out with some others and we came up with the question, why should you always have to justify your reasoning? Or why do I always feel like I have to? Is it for self-fulfillment? Do people really need to know? No not really. Are many of us being vulnerable? What do you think everyone's definition of vulnerability?

Its hard because we are all at different places here. We're in different positions of where we are in life. Katie and I were talking about how we are some of the younger one's on the trip, and sometimes we do feel actually sometimes the maturity level does make us seem younger. Or we just are at a different stage in our life.

On Monday also we had heard about Kate's (a student and sorority sister) experience when she was in Kenya. She has been studying there this whole semester. She gave some commonalities and differences between SA and Kenya. She talked about how HIV/AIDS is less prevalent in Kenya but more in South Africa. 1 in 5 is infected with HIV in the SA. Women are more at risk in Kenya and SA because more women are raped in Kenya, and many think in SA that if you sleep with a virgin you will not get HIV. I know we have our opinions of Bush, but I be happy he has given money to the continent of Africa. From what I got, it seems as if Kenya is a little less developed than SA, then why does SA have such a higher population of those infected with HIV?

I will blog about yesterday a little later on today. I am about to head to class. Then there is a brie (BBQ) this afternoon for a going away for us, then its out for TJ's birthday. And tomorrow, and pack and back home. I've been noticing I'm talking about home a lot lately, and I think its time for me to come home and processed all of what happened. But I'm still trying to stay in the moment.

"They live life so simple."

I woke up the second day in Guguletu warm, rested, and ready for another day. It was the first night I had slept more than 6 hours, not to mention sharing a bed with Elisa probably made things MUCH warmer. We both were sick and she had plenty of medicine here, which I should tell you that they do sell codine off the counter here. Which I find funny, and trust me, it works. I am thankful she was my homestay buddy.

Thobeka and Sonazi both were gone so Elisa and I locked up, and headed to our speakers again. Did you know that South Africa has two different lines of ARVs and the U.S. has 50? That is why they wait so long to go on ARVs because if one line doesn't work, they have only one last choice to get them to work. Its like you only have two chances. Thats it. The disability grant is 750 rand per month, which is about 100 dollars. This grant is difficult to obtain. I'd go into detail about the government because its so shocking, they just don't even care.

Then it was time to talk about leadership for a bit, and I got partnered with Laurie. Her and I were supposed to discuss controversy with civility and our definition of this was handling conflict within a group in a positive format, using it to advance a group. And of course we are comparing South Africa and Minnesota. Why is it that people choose to ignore issues before it is too late? Is it the culture? Is it considered a taboo? Is it because it isn't accepted? Just some food for thought.

We went back to Priscilla's and brought toys and fed her family by making her lunch. It felt good. But I was irritated at the same time at that moment. We had children coming in that were not hers and were taking the toys. I thought in my head, "these are supposed to be for Priscilla's children, but I can't take them away from them." So I let that thought go, and said I'm helping not just her family but the community. I felt awful for thinking what I was thinking afterwards, but I let my immediate reaction hit me. Which is good, because its funny how quick your thoughts can change. It shows that I'm growing.

Then it was Rainbow center and fractions (UGH, teaching them is hard but I succeeded, luckily I love kids), fabulous dinner again, and back to Thobeka's. I just want to say there was one child that was just sitting there not working on his homework. So I asked him if he needed help, and another boy goes to me, "He doesn't have a pen to write with." I told him, "Here take my pen, I don't need it." The next day, I still saw him with the same pen. It hit me in the heart. I was expecting him to lose that pen. It's amazing how well a 10 year old can take care of just one thing here.

I decided tonight was going to be my night to ask many questions to Thobeka. She was in a great mood, we sat and had tea (which is so much better than coffee by the way). I don't know what happened to her husband, but I do know she was married and she said that was that. By the way, it is very common for men to leave their significant others in this country. (This is my assumption by the way.) She inherited the house she lives in by a family she once worked for, she quit school to work for her sisters so she could send them to school, she supports her nieces because her sisters are now dead, and she has her Sonazi living with her. Yes, this woman has done many things for her family. But what has she done for herself? Is this her self-fulfillment? This woman is very reserved. I've decided it was the generational gap we had here. Many of the other homestay mothers were younger, and this woman is a little older than the others.

By the way, August 9th is Sonazi's birthday, along with Women's day. I do not know WHY we don't have this in the states, but its necessary, so Elisa and I will be celebrating Women's day from now on.

Another by the way, South Africa has amazing literature. I spent time in a bookstore (we know they are my weakness), and I had to force myself to go to the checkout to buy the books. Maryam has a lot of reading to do this summer.

I spent time after church today with Aaron, Jesse, Hilary, and Elisa on a hunt for something. We were halfway successful. I'm not allowed to tell you though, its part of my surprise. We ended up sitting in a pub talking about the experiences on this trip and what it will be like when we get back.

Tomorrow, back to class, Green Market Square, MonkeyBiz, and my surprise. Its so weird to be back in reality. I keep thinking about how 10 km away there's shacks in a township and the distance between that I was doing a wine tour. It is two different worlds here. Or is it two worlds everywhere and it takes one to get out of your comfort zone to do it?

"We are all going to learn what if."

So Tuesday is when we brought all of our donated items to Guguletu for the community center. I had Johnson and Johnson sponsor me, and gave me this full suitcase of medical supplies. I want to thank Bonnie for using her special packing skills, because I couldn't get some of the boxes of Children's Motrin out of the suitcase. Here's a picture.



We were all exhausted after donating everything. And I'm thinking, it was one of the first things that made us feel like we actually could help with something here for once.

Our usual structure during the next following days are lectures in the mornings and home visits in the afternoon, with an amazing lunch from the community center, dinner by a homestay family, and spend the night and evenings with our homestay families.

Yvonne was our first lecturer. She is a reverend and works with donation items and makes many visits to homes. She talks about how 100 dollars will last for four days for a family that has nothing. For a while she worked as an AIDS worker, and she works with donated items, because she looks and thinks of happiness, for the children. She said she doesn't have an answer for what is happening, its difficult to talk about HIV/AIDS in church, and that sex is considered a taboo, and people are never taught about relationships. She says she is not in an emotionally good place and it is hard for her to keep that balance. I can imagine. Yikes.

Now the discussion starts to get really heavy. Nombeko comes and talks to us, she is a member of the congregation and support group. She was gang raped in 1997, and became HIV positive. She has a 17 year old son, and is now watching after a 2 and a 1/2 year old. She describes what happened to her as her soul being taken away. It was a trama for her and her family, she became mentally ill, and eventually came over that barrier with that persistance that she needed. The only thing she regrets is that she said she would have rather been with her partner, because then it would've been nice. I teared up at that point. Can you imagine getting the disease and you didn't even have a choice? I chose to ask her a question and I asked her, "How do you deal with others and their feelings once they are infected?" She responded, "It's your choice to live or die with HIV." This woman is so happy, and thinks she is inevitable. And I admire her for that. She does not go around anymore feeling sorry for herself, and I think that is something many of us should start keeping in mind, including myself.

After those two heavy lectures, we had an amazing lunch and started our home visits. Words will not do justice about what I have seen, but I will talk about one woman in particular. This woman has 11 children in her home. Her name is Priscilla and she has two of her own, and the rest are foster children. Now I don't know if you know, but the government gives 210 rand per month for each child, that means it is about 30 dollars. PER MONTH. She has only two beds for this whole family of hers, and is trying to make ends meet. Again, the children hit me because they were so happy to see everyone. Here is a picture of some shacks that people live in here. Priscilla has a house, but it has a bathroom, living room, kitchen, and one bed room.


So after visits we had the options of going to an HIV support group (I went, but the frustrations I dealt with some Americans made me want to throw a shoe at them, I will explain later. But below is a picture of Thandile. Thandile is 6 years old, and she learning how to read and write. This girl did not have a place to sit at a table, so I sat next to her, and did not have a sharp pencil with an eraser on it. But of course, she was still happy as usual.

Then it was a fabulous dinner at my mama's house (ThoBeka), dancing (Chicken dance, no, not the one in the states), and we didn't get to talk to our mother that much because she was so tired. So Sonazi tried to teach Elisa and I some of the Xhosa language and clicks. I will tell you this, I did not succeed.

Then it was off for another heavy day of emotion. Elisa and I were pooped and in bed by 9:30.

Today I was wine touring, and Mom and Dad you'll love what I got you. HOpefully it makes it back to the states. I'm off to church tomorrow and a surprise. Yay, love surprises.

Its weird to be back in what my life is here, compared to what I have experienced this past week. It was weird to go out to bars last night, knowing I had money to spend. I'm glad I came back earlier with Brian and Hilary, because I wasn't ready to head back to reality yet. I haven't hit a low yet on this trip, and it hit me today during our wine tour. During study abroad you hit a bump at one point. It starts off loving life and being excited, to a low point, and back up again. Then when you get back you have a low point again. I hit my low point today. I wasn't talking, I was bitter, compared to my mood yesterday running around, to today not talking was definitely my sign. There's so much to process in my brain, that I do not know where to start.

"We are vulnerable because we chose to be"

I decided to enter my immediate feelings once I got back from the Township. You will hear about each day, as the following week goes on. But, here's my immediate reaction?

You may get a lot of different tones while reading this entry from me. If you have been reading this blog, many of you know I have not had access to a computer because I was in the township of Guguletu. I've learned a lot of things about myself, and I think it is about time I share them with you. I'll enter the days of Gugs day by day, because you'll get sick of me and think, "geez Maryam, it is true, you do talk a lot."

Many of you may not know this, but in the past six months, I do not remember the last time I have laughed so hard. While being at the township and in Cape Town this far, I can not tell you how much I have laughed throughout this trip. In one of the leadership papers I have wrote, I said when I look back on the life I have lived I said I wanted to make sure I was happy. For the couple of months I haven't been, except for these past few weeks. I thank everyone in my group, Aaron, and everyone that I have met here for that.

While waiting in line for lunch one day, I stood next to Edwin, the director of the community center. He told me, "You act so comfortable here. You are very culturally exposed, why is that?" I told him my background and where I've traveled and he immediately understood. Later that day I thought, how come am I so comfortable here, and not in the U.C.? Is it because I don't put myself in the uncomfortable position? Am I not open to being vulnerable? He asked what I want to do, and I told him my ideas about Human Resources and Family Social Science, and he goes, with the cultural experiences you have had so far you would be great. I am often one that feels they need to be praised without asking for it, and hearing that really hit home for me.

During the homestays I have had here, I can not express the amount of love that was shown to me. Guguletu I can call my second home. THe body language that has been shown to me, and I've never voluntarily helped so much in a home and happy to do it, makes me feel like I am such a snot to not want to do it at home. It is almost as if I do not give enough. They live so simple here, I did not have running hot water here the whole time, and I thought about how much I take things for granted. For some people, it is a big deal to use newspaper as toilet paper. That women here don't even use feminine products if they're not able to purchase. Here I am, stocking for a whole school year. Or knowing that I do have a meal coming at me and thinking some people have to search for money to buy their meal before hand. Or that I am always worried about the future and that I am never able to focus on the present. I feel almost ashamed of myself, because I been told these things many time, and right now I feel like I have not listened. Is it because I am older now? That I am more mature? That the last time I have experienced something like this was when I was 12 years old?

What has helped me determine these things is making sure I was open to being vulnerable. I did hold my emotions in, but I was always making a mental note of what I was feeling. If you aren't open to your feelings and vulnerability, you will never know what you are feeling. All of us on this trip chose to do this, to make ourselves feel like this, and I am sure none of us are having regrets. If we don't allow ourselves to see it, it will always be unknown. In order to believe it, we need to see it.

I'm going to be truthful, and I'm scared to come home. As I will tell you my stories I know you will listen, but you won't understand, because you never saw it. I'm sure the same goes for me as well. I'm worrie dI will not be as happy as I was once I was here. The things that I do here, I would not do in the states. Because I am holding back. But I will try not to be standing as if I were on a pedestal. But its hard to hold back. Its going to be hard for me to change, the way I want to eventually be. I'm coming home ready to share the love.

The children here are amazing. They're happy, full of life in their living conditions. We went to a handicapped school, and my mind was so overloaded with thoughts and emotions, I was worried I was going to lose it, so I volunteered to file medical files. IT helped, I am not allowing myself to keep an emotional reaction. I don't know what it feels like.

Yes, you may be thinking, "Maryam, there's stuff like this in the U.S., this all happens in the U. S., but my question to you is, have you seen it with your own eyes? Have you put yourselves in that situation? Making yourselves vulnerable and in that uncomfortable position? Try it sometime, you might surprise yourself.

"There is not one black person that is accepted in this world."

I apologize for not writing in a long time. All of us have been going, going, and a lot of us are starting to get a little run down. I will admit, I am getting a runny nose. But that doesn't stop me. Not yet.

I just want to talk about the driving for a short moment. I don't know why I have not noticed it yet, maybe because I've been admiring the beautiful scenery and looking at houses and people etc. But, our shuttle drivers (Shafiek and Craig, and no his name is not SHAFREAK, thats another embarressing story of mine I need to tell you) have almost hit people in the middle of the road at like 4 times now that I have noticed. They just keep driving, expecting the pedestrians to move out of the way. But, I don't think pedestrians have the right of way in South Africa. Everytime I watch the road, there's a gasp and I grabbed onto TJ and Nate I was so worried we were going to hit this child. So, another note to self: just keep admiring the beautiful scenery.

So Saturday I went on a safari. Which was very fun. I will say the coolest thing I had seen were giraffes, and two males were "practice fighting". They do this and fight with their long necks, but since they are so young, they call it practicing and playing. I might have a video of it, so I'll post it on this blog if I have time. Also, it was Nate's birthday the night before, but since we had to get up so early, we went to our first African restaurant to celebrate and had a night out on the town. TJ and I shared calimari, pasta, and cheesecake. There was live music. Night life is different here than it is in the States. You get pickpocketed so easily there. Not to mention the crime rate is pretty high here.

Sunday was my first day in Gugalethu. We attended a church service and I must say I had the best feeling inside of me after the service was done. I don't know if it was because I hadn't been to church in a while, but Chief if you are reading this, from our talk before I left, I feel like I had experienced the same thing you had. The music was amazing, they have such rhythm, and its just so much warmer than the churches that I have attended. I also met my host mom, Thombeka. This woman is 55, and lives with her grand daughter. She works in Cape Town and travels by taxi. She is such a warm, genuine person. I can not wait to hear about her stories and share them with you. The rest of the day was spent at the waterfront, we had to get some last minute things, and last but not least, I got to go see Sex and the City movie. I loved it. I recommend it, and Stella and I wanted to buy another ticket to watch it again after we had just seen it. Let's just say, two tickets is the equivalent to one in the States.

And today. Today was our first full day in the township. It started off with three lecturers, a fabulous performance group, one of the best meals I've eaten so far, a tour of Gugs (what the locals call the township), and spending time with children in an after-school program. The title of this blog is a quote from one of the lectures, the reverend of the church we are working with this following week. He said it was a realization he had come to. I was shocked to hear this statement, but as I start to ponder through my mind I almost think this makes sense. In order to make a difference in our lifes, we are responsible for our own lives, and no one can change it but us. He said we need to have people dream, to think that they have the potential. And this one was one of my favorites from Spiwo, "if you can't see far, you won't get far." I actually agree. It reminds me of dad's quote that he tells me, about hope, if you have hope you can dream. You can get anywhere with hope.

Another man we talked to was Edwin. Edwin is the head of the community center. Very nice man. He comes from a mixed mother with a Xhosa father. His goal is to see change in the community, wants to contribute positively, but HOW does he do that? He says you need to start with yourself, take the opporutnity, and you won't really ever know what to expect. You can always hate, but how does that open new avenues and windows for you to enter. I REALLY like this man.

A discussion happened, and I want you to ask yourself these questions as you read this. How are we any different from the people here? What do we all do to prove ourselves? How do we determine what type of success is good? Is it embaressing? Throughout this discussion, I basically went on a rampage (I was VERY frustrated and thinking in my head and just let it out) We are looking at a culture, and thinking it is so different, but its probably the same here. We have not evaluated our culture yet. We don't know what we have.

Just picture this. A floor that is covered with different types of wood, plastic and linoleum. The siding of your house is metal. Your whole house is twice the size of your standard bathroom. You share a room with all of your family members. Your bike is hanging in your living room. You have one chair to sit on and a bed too. But that bed is supposed to be slept on. There are tires on the roof to hold down the roof from flying off. There's no backyard, no side walk, the wall next door is another shack, another family, in another living similar living situation. Again, I do have pictures.

That is a common house hold. But the house we visited, was of a seventeen year old girl who is taking care of her younger brother who is either 11 or 9 (I can't remember sorry). Her parents died two years ago, and she is left to take care of her brother. She was being denied from schools until the community center found out about the two and is helping them out.

And, I'll say this, and I have pictures, some shacks were forced to leave because they had to clean up the sidewalks and roads, because Gugs is a main way to get to the world cup from the airport. Now where did those people go?

One last thing about today. Sometimes I think I should be a family social science major, here's why, I LOVE KIDS. Beth, I thought about you today because I know you like them. The afterschool program is to help them with homework and give children the resources they need. I worked with a girl, Thandile, and how to write "This is a boy" and pronunciation over and over again. I have a picture of here, I have yet to upload pictures. Which I might just have to do. No, I'm getting sick, nevermind. They are just happy spirits, and being with them makes me forget hardships and want to be with them ALL the time.

The past days I have been doing a lot of thinking and feeling. I am trying to be vulnerable and putting myself in that uncomfortable position. I am known to be a thinker, but I don't always put myself in that uncomfortable position, hence the title of my blog. The question came up by Elisa, "What do you hope to get from this trip?" My thoughts were, building better relationships with people, deciding on a damn major, and finding that faith. And last but not least, having that personal growth in a global perspective. My thoughts are starting to evolve. And I can't quite put my finger on how to incorporate that into my lifestyle. But that could probably take a while I think.


Just a reminder to you all that I won't be posting until Friday night. I'll be writing down instances that occur, but I don't have a computer until then. I might get to my email because there is a computer center there, so we will see. This is what I have been waiting for. Wish me luck.

Again, pictures and giraffe video to come.

"Long Walk to Freedom"

We took the "Jammie" to class today. This is basically the campus connector at the U, and instead of a 25 minute walk, it took us literally 10 minutes to get to class today. When we got to the stop, the driver of the bus was sleeping. How comforting.

Today we had another guest speaker, Steven. This man, I feel I could have sat down with coffee, and asked him questions for hours on end. I want to read his autobiography, if he has one. He was, unbeliveable.

This man was born in exile. His father had gone into exile where he had met his mother and he is one of five children. He has had numerous names, to hide up his identity, his house has been bombed a couple of times. Can you imagine that? How would you even know what your real name was once you returned or if you ever returned? Or try having explained to you why you move so many times when you are a young child. He could not attend UCT right after the end of apartheid because they had not changed the rules for admission because he did not know the two languages Afrikaan and English. He now knows eight different languages, he has an undergrad degree, two masters, one diploma, and his now going to be in Geneva soon to work on his Ph.D. Not to mention he did do one of his masters at UC-Berkeley as well. He now works with conflict management. He came back to South Africa because he believes in his country, and he thinks that they need black academicians that are in tune with their country's politics.

Our discussion was primarily on current events that are now happening in South Africa. You may have heard of Steven before because he was just in my previous lecture that I had on Wednesday. We discussed the root causes of xenophobia and how he did not think they were social or psychological but more dehumanizing. I wish I could have asked him more on his reasoning why they were not social or psychological. Also, he stated that this is not just a national issue, but it is a global phenomenon due to economic disparity and situations of contradiction.

We did ask him a question regarding to HIV, and asked him what was being done about it. When apartheid ended, Mandela's first thing was reconstructing the government, his worry was not yet HIV and it wasn't as big of an issue. He just did not have the time yet to do it, and it was at the end of his term.

Then the concept of xenophobia came up, and we had asked why was it not such a big deal in Cape Town as it was in Johannesburg. He said that the city has had much more time to prepare for it so the violence hasn't been happening. But, then I thought, it still should be occuring then, shouldn't it?

Then we had the trip to Robben Island. I did notice that I did not have my camera with me, or I thought I didn't (I found it in my purse when we got back, BOO). We stopped at a place at the waterfront for lunch and I had Kheema, which did not settle very well in my stomach later on. And many of us bought jackets and fleeces from Cape Storm for warmer comfort. A lot of us did not pack as much warm clothing as we would have liked to.

Then off to Robben Island. This island is 12 km away from Cape Town, so a 45 min boat ride. I was actually kind of excited to go to this place because I had read Mandela's book, "Long Walk to Freedom", hence the title. We had a former prisoner give us a tour of the prison him and Mandela were once in. We had asked him the question why would he want to give tours, wouldn't this be emotionally hard for him to do? He said it gave him the chance to focus, and tear away his anger. I guess I could see that, because it would take me a long time to get over something like that. He even now has drinks with some of the jail guards that he was once ruled by.

There is a lot of history towards Robben Island. It was first touched by the Portuguese, then the Dutch, and it was not only a prison, but a medical institution for those who were mentally and chronically ill or who had leprosy. It was used for a training camp during WWII. And there is a village there, with churches, a lighthouse that doesn't really work because before it was built there was 8 shipwrecks, and after it was built it had 18 more. There is 15,000 penguins on the island, and I have noticed that they fall down a lot. They do not really walk very well, and they are just so darn cute! I wish I just had a timeline to look at what happened where.

After getting back, we tried a fast food place and I have noticed that I have been eating a lot of "chips", meaning french fries. So, I am going to need to cut down on those. And then I tried some fabulous frozen yogurt. I am going to call it an early night, because I have to get up at 4:30 AM for a safari. Tomorrow's blog will probably be lots of pictures.

Miss you all, and hope all is well.

Watch out motion sickness, here I come!

So today was our trip to Cape Point. I will tell you, I took many many pictures, but it takes forever to load pictures. And I'm on my second blog for the evening and I'm getting very anxious. And ready to play Phase 10 and relax for a bit.

So we definitely were tourists today. We had walking shoes, raincoats, and cameras out. We even had a tour bus today. And, I've decided I get motion sickness from stick shift vehicles that are van/bus size. Our first stop was at Sea Point. This was a view of the Atlantic Ocean.


Now, I'm sure you have noticed the dark clouds. Yes, it rained today. Aaron told us to pray for good weather, and I did. Nope, not yet, don't see it. So, on our way to go on the boat to see some seals. I started to feel sick on the bus, and got off and thought maybe I just needed to eat. So, I had a granola bar, and felt much better just getting fresh air and off the bus. Then, it starts raining on the boat. I am putting my coat on when the boat is already moving and Hilary, Cole and I are all trying to stand with about becoming a man/woman overboard. This was a quite hilarious thing. And, Dad, an umbrella would not have done justice. Rain flies horizontally at you in South Africa, and I still would have been wet. But, my legs were wet, and I had a nice try T-shirt. So after we move inside... I start feeling sick again. And then I start feeling sick. Then it's time to start running to the bathroom, and it begins. I come back out with a smile, and I was happy the rest of the day. But, I never got to see a seal unfortunately. Touring is a lot of work. Motion sickness, long walks, etc.

That is part of Table Mountain in the back. Just wait till you see the view from my house that I am at. BEAUTIFUL!

So, Africa has penguins, and that was our next stop, Smithstown. This is when whatever is up there answered my prayers and gave us sunny beautiful weather. I thought of Happy Feet when I saw them. And now we were at the Indian Ocean. There was one girl who had never seen the ocean and she had her chance. It was great. I tried a new fish called Hike, and it was deep-fried, and really good. I waded through the Indian ocean and here are some more pictures of that. (2 Pictures here)

ThankAfter that, it was off to Cape Point. This is the most Southwestern point of the world. And it was unbelievable. We did a lot of walking, hiking, and it feels like I walked 30 miles today. I did buy some postcards, so those of you who had asked for them, with postage. Then I made the trek all the way down to the point. I did a lot of thinking during this, hence, I did a lot of walking by myself. I was thinking that I felt like I had not even felt like I was studying here today, and I really did feel like a tourist and here on vacation. I can't imagine what I'll be writing when I come back from the townships next week. There will be such a difference, and I'm patiently waiting to find out what happens. I guess that is why this class is a "Cross-Cultural Perspective". This place is beautiful, but the history South Africa has with HIV and apartheid just makes things hard to view, but you can't touch mother nature.


Before you know it, it starts pouring. I did not bring my rain jacket and I am wearing a garbage bag poncho which it was so windy that I was worried while putting it on that I was going to be suffocated while TJ was helping me put it on. Note to self: ALWAYS WEAR THE DANG RAIN COAT.

Well tomorrow is another class and off to Robben Island. This will be interesting, and I have to give background information on this to our group.

I believe in Karma...

DISCLAIMER: I would like to apologize in advance about my blog because I tend to word vomit as I write this, because everything always makes sense in my head, but sometimes it never works on paper. So sorry ahead of time.

One is what my title deals with. We were over at the bed and breakfast house on Tuesday night and I noticed they had dish soap. The people over there were complaining about their outlets not working, and then they finally got them to function. Hilary and I had decided since we had not cleaned ANY dishes since we had arrived because we didn't have soap, that it would not be bad to take the dish soap, granted the other house has a dishwasher in it. I didn't think Laurie was going to see me, (apparently she did) and I stuck the soap under my sweatshirt and walked out of the house. So I came home to wash all the dishes than 10 people use in one day. It was late, and with humidity and my hair I have found it is easier for me to just shower at night and put it up the next day. I get into the shower... and Katie yells, "We don't have any power in our outlets!" I thought in my head, "Good God, what did someone do now...". So we have Nate come over and check the circuits, and I have found out that when you turn the power off, it turns off the hot water. So, a cold shower, in the dark, shaving your legs is not easy. I get out and get dressed, and Hilary comes to me and says "It's Karma, we need to return the dish soap!" So we go back, saying that I left my phone on the kitchen counter. I set it back, and am about to walk out the door and come back and tell Stella, "We stole your dish soap so we could wash dishes and now our power is out." I come back, and the power comes back on. It's all Karma, I tell you. It is.

Yesterday was our first day of class. We had Zwelethu Jolobe come and talk to us about South Africa's history in regards to apartheid. There was discussion about crisis legitimacy in legalizing the trade unions, to two leaders DeKlerk and Nelson Mandela, and significant leadership changes. And he brought up the question, how do we reorganize power? He was talking about negotiation and about no end, no insight, and many of us will always be unsure of what tomorrow holds. We need to restart all over, and begin a new foundation. It needs to all be about truth-telling, and creating that official memory and history.

Here's a part of UCT, looking from the Rugby field. You'll noticed the architecture here is very European, because it was at one time ruled by the British and Dutch.



One thing that really impressed me with Zwelethu and his collegue Steven is about their interest in world politics, especially the United States. I was extremely shocked about how much they knew, and it almost made me feel that I was too ignorant, and that I need to know more. Maybe its because I am already immersed in the culture, and I know what to expect? I couldn't tell you. They asked us the question regarding same-sex marriage. In South Africa, same-sex marriage is allowed. What he said was, "how are you considered a civil and free country, when you make such uncivilized decisions?" I'll just say I have no idea, that he has an extremely good point, and that a key reason of whom I am voting for.

We had a campus lunch after lecture, and I started to have a little nostalgia already. I had peanut chicken curry (Yes, Dad I know you don't like the word, "curry".) And I noticed I was talking about my family a lot and stories. And I usually do that when I miss my family. So family, I miss you, and I hope you are reading this blog.

Then we were off to District 6. This is an area in downtown Cape Town, you could basically compare it to the Harlem Renaissance. These people were forced to leave their homes because they were of color, and not white. They were sent to townships and were no longer in the city. We learned the hardships many of them faced, and the man who gave us the tour of the museum, was a person sent away to the townships himself, and was telling us his story. He gave us this phrase saying, "Even if you are of different color, that doesn't make you any different than anyone else. The only way you are ever going to be different is if you cut everyone open and see what's inside. Then tell me what you see, and if we really are different." I was really moved by what he said, I really liked it. It's completely true. This museum had artifacts from District 6, such as signs for not allowing colored people to park, or that a public area was exclusive. Makes sense huh? Not. You can tell the authors of this sign need to take some Marketing classes. This is a map of District 6, people have written in where they had lived. And we can walk on this, I felt weird walking around on this.

So we had some extra time before dinner and walked around downtown Cape Town. I did go to a market/bazaar type deal and was a little nervous to do some bargaining. Niki, a woman who was with us from Interstudy walked around with me and coached me a little. I will tell you, I bought a pashmina shawl that was offered for 80 rand, and ended up getting it for 40. And stones for Colin for 20 rand. They're pretty my friend, you'll like them. I was very proud of myself. While walking back to our driver's, we ran into a demonstration in front of the court house right over by the district six museum. I tried to be nonchalant about it and acted as if it were not a big deal, but then we were passed by a police truck with people in it, and were saying profane words and then I was bothered and worried.

So, I tried Nando's yesterday. The chicken is halal, (which I realized why is was kind of expensive), and it grade A chicken. But I had wings and it wasn't bad! I would definitely recommend trying it, if you ever find one, I know they are in London as well!

On to tomorrow, we traveling to Cape Point, the most Southwestern Point in the world. Get excited.

Welcome to Table Mountain and Atlantic Ocean Views

Since we came to Cape Town at night, I wanted to go outside right when I woke up. Aaron had told us to look outside in the morning and there's a surprise. I go outside and look and see, Table Mountain and Devil's Peak. It was the most breath taking thing I have ever seen. I hope I didn't wake up the neighbors I was so excited. They probably woke up and heard four girls screaming their lungs out with excitement.

Today we did get a tour of Cape Town University and did go to the Waterfront, which were also beautiful. Our wonderful interstudy tour guides Ajith and Dianne showed us around campus and some hot spots, while Ouma and Sopheimo gave us an overview of safety, introduction, and had a Q and A session. UCT lies very close to Table Mountain, and the view was unbelievable. About 25,000 undergraduate students attend UCT and they are in final exam session.

As we were going through this Tour I realized, every darn trip I have been to within the United States and abroad for where I have been, I have always visited a university. It must have been because I have a father as a professor? I don't know. The architecture was outstanding. I heard about some great food places such as Nando's which apparently is one up from KFC according to Dianne and Adjith. Watch out my fine chicken friends.

Then we headed to the water front. We had lunch there and I am going to proudly say I ordered an alcoholic beverage. It's very strange that I am of age in this country, and it was weird that I was ordering an alcoholic beverage and did not get carded. The legal limit is technically 18 years, but we were told that girls do not have as much of a problem getting alcoholic beverages. Don't worry Mom and Dad, I'm being responsible. :) I have a margarita on the rocks with salt, and I ordered a pasta with chili with fresh mushrooms. A main joy was how much alcohol was here, its about two bucks for a beer, which is 14 rand. I must tell you, there were many students that were very excited about the inexpensive beer, its a good thing I like hard liquor. :)

We did a little bit of shopping, went to see the ocean, and just sat and chatted. This was a very touristic site. Meaning Americans, Japanese, the whole kit and kaboodle. My instructor did say that many people can tell who we are because we speak loud and wear tennis shoes. And I am back now finally with internet. Throughout the whole trip, I have not used an IPOD or a computer until now. It definitely was a weird feeling, and I am going to admit that I was tired when I got home and now I am fairly awake. :)

I have not had too much of a culture shock yet. It will probably have to be a couple of days I think. I don't know if it is because I have traveled to other countries yet or what. But so far I feel this city is a little more Americanized that I had thought, meaning downtown Cape Town. We are in a suburb called Mowbury right next to UCT. We can catch a "Jammie" what we would call the campus connector at the U to get to UCT. The mall we went to did have a Croc store (thank GOD), Birkenstocks, Gucci, etc. I did see a McDonald's big arch flying in.

I do think I am truly blessed to be here. I know I decided to come for a reason, but I haven't figured out what my reasoning is yet. I thought I was destined to be a science major, but I'm not sure if that is me anymore.

I am lucky for the group members that are here. They are so supportive, and I'm not going to lie we are keeping a quote book for all the funny things that have happened. We started it last night.

I will get pictures up eventually. I don't know when, but eventually. They are beautiful. I will be blogging often I have realized, just because I have access to internet and I sure as heck paid for it. So look daily, it should be there. Miss you all! I do have a phone here, (01127)0722630939, if you all feel the need to miss me that much. :)

I am finally here...

Whew. I am here, and all in all the travel was not half that bad as I had expected!

Laurie and her parents picked me up at 4:15 in the morning on Sunday and were ready to roll. I had a small and big luggage to check, with a backpack and purse to carry on. So we piled into the Honda Civic and was on our merry way to the Lindberg Terminal.

The only big travel problem we had is that we thought we had to check in individually and found out we had to check in our group of 16 all together. So, the lovely gentleman Bradford (only lovely once we left and were all set) helped us.

Then we get to our gate, and spot Rev Run. Yes he was in first class, but I have no idea what he was doing in Minneapolis on a Memorial Day weekend. A girl, Katie, in our group did shake his hand and we did get a picture of him. But apparently he did not have a "firm handshake". Ha. I will admit that I had NO idea who this man was, and eventually got the update by fellow group members.

I basically slept from Mlps to New York City, where we had a seven hour layover in JFK airport. We spent time with Phase 10, Toblerone chocolate, book stores, and getting our boarding passes for South African Airways.

I have to say, South African Airways is by far the best airline I have ever flown. Next would probably be Emirates. We did have little TV's in the back of seats and I tried to watch There Will Be Blood and Juno and fell asleep BOTH times. Not to mention this plane ride was 18 hours in total, and I basically slept the whole time, except for meals. We did have a pitstop in Dakar, Senegal to refuel and add more passengers. We were fed four meals, yes four, and were not that bad. I did have a great plane buddy, also my suitcase and roommate buddy. I made sure to do exercises and drink plenty of water, because a lot of us were waking up from a nightmare of blood clots or feet falling asleep. We did also meet this couple from Johannesburg and they did give us the safety talk. Don't pick up rides, watch your bag at all time, watch out for bars, etc. They did tell me that Cape Town is not Africa, it's more like England. I was just trying to listen and not give my input, because I am remembering that I need to listen more here than talk. Which as many of you know, is pretty hard for me. And then before you know it we were in Johannesburg, South Africa.

Now this was the connection we were primarily worried about. We only had an hour and 45 minutes to get our luggage, go through customs, and recheck our luggage. Luckily, we did not have to declare anything coming into South Africa. With an a group of 16 Americans, the porters were able to point us out quickly and basically forced us to follow them knowing there was an incentive afterwards. These porters probably thought of us as stupid Americans, because they did get tipped really well. Now, Johannesburg was under construction, so we have to go about 400 meters from one part of the airport to the other... and from being in an airplane for 18 hours, that was a little rough with all the luggage and all. But we did it.

And now, I'm here in Cape Town. Our instructor Aaron, the interstudy group:Dianne, Ajith, Ouma, Niki, and Sopheimo, and another student with our group Kate, met us at the airport. We piled into two vans and came to our two houses. Now all houses were supposed to be student residential housing. But, we wouldn't have been very close together. Then a bed and breakfast opened up and we ended up using that one as well. And no, I am not staying in the GORGEOUS bed an breakfast, I am in the student residential house, which is pretty good actually. I honestly feel like I am a celebrity in the Real World tv show and all that is happening should be video taped.

Granted we did have jet lag, and I had slept a majority of our travel, I was wide awake. And I knew tomorrow was going to be a big day. So more Phase 10 came about and then it was time to hit the hay.

Test run!

Hey everyone!

I've set up a blog for all of you to read while I am away in South Africa. Just a little background information to let you know what I will be doing.

It is a May Term session that I'll be going to in Cape Town, South Africa. Seventeen students are going total, and an instructor, Aaron will be with us. The class that I am taking is a "Cross-Cultural Perspective on the AIDS Pandemic". I will be staying in Cape Town, near Cape Town University, but spending a lot of time in Gugulethu, which is a township outside of Cape Town.

I leave May 25th, and come back June 14th. Lately I have been collecting medical supplies, shampoo, black socks and children's underwear. If you have anything you would like to give me, send it to me back home in Duluth because I will be going home for a week before I leave.

I hope you take the time to read this, I wanted to make sure I was able to share my experiences with you right at that moment!